At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
