Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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