Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!

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  (407): At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"! http://tfl.nu/ehkr
  Replies (17) Good night (1396) Bad night (2406)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!

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  (336): I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo! http://tfl.nu/ejnx
  Replies (14) Good night (3879) Bad night (601)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!

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  (727): A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend! http://tfl.nu/ajdu
  Replies (12) Good night (3543) Bad night (738)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.

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  (409): We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield. http://tfl.nu/bpsu
  Replies (45) Good night (11290) Bad night (2511)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed

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  (303): He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed http://tfl.nu/muwj
  Replies (21) Good night (5077) Bad night (908)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.

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  (716): I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk. http://tfl.nu/wlu8
  Replies (103) Good night (3100) Bad night (12300)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.

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  (715): She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee. http://tfl.nu/wutx
  Replies (7) Good night (1717) Bad night (895)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.

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  (208): Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap. http://tfl.nu/81wb
  Replies (5) Good night (1191) Bad night (787)
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  (916): View more from California

  Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties

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  (916): Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties http://tfl.nu/1wl7
  Replies (3) Good night (1381) Bad night (463)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.

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  (801): After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me. http://tfl.nu/tfvw
  Replies (4) Good night (674) Bad night (1450)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.

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  (416): He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead. http://tfl.nu/aau2
  Replies (5) Good night (527) Bad night (670)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?

  (1-270): View more from Kentucky

  It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.

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  (270): I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right? (1-270): It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking. http://tfl.nu/u0kh
  Replies (5) Good night (1597) Bad night (374)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...

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  (479): I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower... http://tfl.nu/hy7a
  Replies (1) Good night (355) Bad night (575)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.

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  (330): We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages. http://tfl.nu/bck0
  Replies (3) Good night (629) Bad night (287)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED

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  (205): I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED http://tfl.nu/p5zl
  Replies (5) Good night (280) Bad night (554)

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