What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.