you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
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I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
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Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say