I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
