Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
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Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
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Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.