I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
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As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
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So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole