Texts From Last Night

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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Well douche your snatch and let's go!

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  (919): Well douche your snatch and let's go! http://tfl.nu/3ukm
  Replies (5) Good night (1696) Bad night (938)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.

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  (248): thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer. http://tfl.nu/nnju
  Replies (59) Good night (1404) Bad night (6531)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.

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  (216): She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass. http://tfl.nu/vn76
  Replies (25) Good night (4924) Bad night (1935)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.

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  (215): we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle. http://tfl.nu/zo0y
  Replies (17) Good night (7423) Bad night (1196)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.

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  (828): you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life. http://tfl.nu/zm5g
  Replies (12) Good night (7907) Bad night (1128)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me

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  (503): If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me http://tfl.nu/4si1
  Replies (8) Good night (3396) Bad night (1080)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.

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  (706): When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me. http://tfl.nu/9m66
  Replies (9) Good night (2141) Bad night (777)
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  (530): View more from California

  Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking

  (530): View more from California

  That could use a little rephrasing

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  (530): Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking (530): That could use a little rephrasing http://tfl.nu/xfz9
  Replies (5) Good night (1938) Bad night (863)
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  (585): View more from New York

  She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back

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  (585): She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back http://tfl.nu/7ssu
  Replies (2) Good night (1394) Bad night (641)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.

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  (941): I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt. http://tfl.nu/lbvc
  Replies (12) Good night (1009) Bad night (2428)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.

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  (507): I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins. http://tfl.nu/raw5
  Replies (7) Good night (862) Bad night (1154)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness

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  (815): Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness http://tfl.nu/w2dw
  Replies (2) Good night (1403) Bad night (1075)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?

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  (251): Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails? http://tfl.nu/r64b
  Replies (2) Good night (910) Bad night (403)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again

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  (602): I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again http://tfl.nu/of7p
  Replies (1) Good night (544) Bad night (329)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.

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  (419): Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate. http://tfl.nu/uh2w
  Replies (3) Good night (575) Bad night (291)

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