We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
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Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
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Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.