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• (217): View more from Illinois

  I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?

  (847): View more from Illinois

  haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.

  (217): View more from Illinois

  ... oops

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  This kid is drunk.

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?

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• (408): View more from California

  I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.

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• (660): View more from Missouri

  He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.

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• (516): View more from New York

  I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole

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