that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Dating After Heartbreak
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.