I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize