Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
