garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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