You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
