it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
