Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
