Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
