Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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