Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize