I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
