don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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