He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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