Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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