my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
