Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Sorry my hands just texted you
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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