Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
