i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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