return my video game
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
