she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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