I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
