I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
