this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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