you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She told me I should be a condom model.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
