We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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