Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
