she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
