she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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