I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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