none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
