You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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