We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
The struggles of a small town man whore
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
