I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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