Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
