I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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