therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
