that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Randomize