What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
