12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
she smelled like a LAN party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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