did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I see more hoeing in ur future
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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