Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
