i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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