i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
