No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
