got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
