He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
