U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
