i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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