of course. lets lasso hookers.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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