you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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