we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
