just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize