you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
