So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
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I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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