I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
