All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
